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Online Infidelity – Is Your Partner Having a Cyber Affair?


With the increasing use of the internet comes the risk of online infidelity which can lead to marital problems and can even cause a marriage to break down.

These have become known as cyber-affairs.

Many people can become addicted to online chat rooms where they can indulge in sexually explicit chat in real-time with total strangers. A climate of permissiveness pervades many of these chat rooms and instant messages sent privately between two people allow them to engage in erotic chats without the risk of being caught by their spouse. Webcams can be viewed, voice chat can be turned on instead of typing in text, and pictures and files of a sexual or personal nature can be transferred secretly by linking peer-to-peer.

The anonymity provided by chat rooms allows users to share their intimate feelings without feeling embarrassed. Initial chat conversations may be fairly innocent but when someone gets a sympathetic response from a fellow chatter this can turn into a deep emotional attachment to them. The messages often then become intensely personal and can develop into a cyber affair.

This is a form of adultery and it can develop into a full-blown affair with secret phone calls and even clandestine meetings. Even if it stays on a non-physical plane it can still be devastating for a wife or husband to discover that his partner has been indulging in emotional infidelity with someone she doesn’t really know. A wife or husband may believe that it is all harmless escapism and they are doing nothing wrong but their spouse will feel a deep sense of betrayal knowing that their spouse has been discussing intimate details with a virtual stranger.

Why do people have cyber affairs?

Studies have shown that it is a form of emotional escape into an online fantasy world to escape the problems and realities of everyday life. Anyone can assume an online persona which is totally unlike their real one.

A neglected wife can have her pick of cyber partners who fall for her onscreen sexy persona and who are assuming a persona themselves as a hot lover. Usually the reality is quite different as the hot lovers may be husbands themselves who are also indulging in their own little fantasy world.

If you suspect a cyber affair then ask yourself these questions.

a) Is your partner’s main interest chat rooms?

b) Does your partner stay up late on the computer while you are alone in bed?

c) Do they want to be left alone while they are on the computer?

d) Do they act secretive if you enter the room whilst they are on the computer?

e) Do they get irritated when you question the amount of time they are spending on the computer?

f) Do they spend more time on the computer than with you or the family?

g) Do you feel that they are neglecting the household?

If the answer to most of these questions is yes then your partner may be having a cyber-affair.

by: Anthony Bradley

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